Thursday 12th April 2012 - Oppositional Defiant Dosorder

It has been a long time. A very long time.
But we in this house are not happy campers at all. God seems very far away just now. of course He is not, but it seems that way. We have been visited twice in the last 7 months by the Department of Human Services here in Victoria. And twice I have nearly landed in gaol. One of our children may have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. What's that do I hear you say? Basically, what you want the child will go opposite. For years we have battled with this one child. We have managed the situation only. Some times very well, most times badly. We had no idea of the war zone we were in because for us, the situation was normal. We didn't know any different. We put it down to a strong willed child. And for many years that was our lot. There were a few reports over the years but we didn't connect the dots. There was a celebrated instance when we were said to be denying our kids food. It was a twisting of the truth. It was said that we wouldn't give our children any food after dinner. That was partly true. If they didn't eat their dinner then there was nothing until morning. But the rider was never explained. So people thought we were not giving them enough.
If you read the article I have linked to you will be able to see the daily battle we face. Not all of the symptoms are true for us. For example, the tantrum throwing is not true at this point for us. But the absolute refusal to obey is true.
So, how did we get to where we are now? In fact, where are we now. I will answer the first question. September last year I was reported by this child for abusing her. An investigation was conducted and it was found I had no case to answer. There were two recommendations, both of which were done. Neither addressed the real problem. At this point we were left to work things out for ourselves. The Department of Human Services declared our case closed and that was that. And that was supposedly the end of that.
We were not happy about that. We started noticing that our child was really different to children of similar age. And that was just for starters. So, after consultation with our G.P., we received a referral to a paediatrician.
The weekend before the visit the child injured herself whilst playing in our yard. Also a door came off her wardrobe. All this while I was at work. At some point in time the child also obtained a massive bruise on her upper leg. Wednesday come and mother and child go visit paediatrician. At this visit the child claims I caused the injury. The paediatrician is duty bound to report the bruising. Again we are under investigation and this time supervision. However, the paediatrician has suggested that the child may have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. And so our child has been refereed on to a psychologist for assessment.
Of course that leaves us in limbo with our lives completely disrupted. I am quite dreading that visit to psychologist and the lies that may come out of that. Then on top of that we have had restrictions placed on us with regard to discipline. This in itself is not an issue as we already had those safeguards in place. However, as the child knows about them, in her mind, we cant make her do what she doesn't want to do. Our authority as her parents has been destroyed. And her behaviour shows it.
Where to from here? I don't know. Like I said at the beginning, God seems very far away just now.