This evening/afternoon we, that is my family, went to Connect 4 Families at St Luke's Anglican Church in down town Frankston. This evening I was asked for my testimony. Here it is.
Simply this: I can't and only Jesus can.
My early years where nothing to write home about. As one of five children life had no joy and no meaning. As a 12 year old boy I had spent most of my life in trouble. I had no confidence in my own ability. I could do no right and had long since given up trying. For 12 years I existed in a kind of void. I had no friends. I ate, I washed, I slept, I endured. I was forced to endure Scripture lessons and at 12 years of age I had enough of this "religious crap" that I was forced to learn and so told the Anglican minister, whose lot it was to teach us, exactly I thought of his non existent God, what he could do with his God and where he could shove Him.
To my utter amazement I didn't get the thrashing I deserved. In fact I didn't even get into trouble. The minister simply told me that Jesus had died to forgive me all my sins and that He was just waiting to be my friend. Having no friends this was just what I needed. A friend, a friend who would accept just as I was, warts and all.
Years past and at age 19 having walked away from God. I met a man in Perth, West Australia, who questioned my constant use of bad language. He seemed different. He had a peace that passed all understanding. He wasn't angry with me, just merely asked the question. Again I was impressed. I wanted what he had and asked him about it. He told me his secret to life was to be found in, none other than Christ Himself. Christ was his life. Without Christ he was nothing.
More time past. I went my own way and did some things I am not proud of. My friend kept writing to me regarding the state of my life. By this time I had long since decided that God would by now have given up on me and so there was no sense in even trying. I wrote my friend along these lines. I reckon that must have been the fastest answer I ever got from any one. The post office really out did itself in getting his answer to me. Far from giving up, he told me, God was just waiting for me to come back to Him. All I had to do was ask and forgiveness was mine. I did. You bet I did. I thought, I have been given another chance and I aren't going to blow it this time. I asked Jesus right there and then to forgive me all my sins and to save me from death.
But, I still had to learn about life. Christ's life. After having been forgiven my sin I thought all would be roses in the garden. Wrong! With the roses are thorns. I fondly imagined that now I was saved I would no longer sin. Wrong Again! It was about this time that I read a book called the Saving Life of Christ by Major W. Ian Thomas. In there I discovered that not only could I not live the Christian life in my own strength, but that God was merely waiting for me to discover it and then make the biggest discovery of my life, both before and since. You see I found that not only could I not live the Christian life, but that only Christ could, by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in me. You see I had to surrender my life to Christ and let Him live in and through me. Wow! What a miracle. My part? Willingness and surrender. No more, no less. Like I said, what a miracle.
Now, I am not saying life has been without its pit falls. I have made many mistakes over the last 20 years or so. But this I do know, God is faithful. He has been faithful to me all these years. But He has been my life. I cannot live without Him. I could not imagine life with out Him. For me, Christ is life. All else is death. People are unreliable and cannot be depended on. Jesus can. Christ is life and is utterly dependable. I am totally convinced without a shadow of doubt, that nothing can keep me from His love, save only me. He will never leave me. No, not ever. For me to live is Christ, all else is death.
In Him alone do I trust. There is only my death and His life. I owe, quite literally, my life to Him.
It is some time since I penned that testimony. I can now affirm that testimony even more. Both in my own life, and in the lives of some others I know who are still trying to do it on their own - we can't, they can't, you can't. They can try to clean up their act, but at the end of the day it takes Christ.
No comments:
Post a Comment