Saturday 24th May 2008 Why?

OK, that is not a typical scene in our house. Michele helping, yes. Cathy looking on, no. In fact that is the first time Cathy has been up on a chair at the counter where we prepare our meals. Cathy is looking on, hopefully learning by example. She is about 5 months ahead of her her elder sister. What do I mean by that? Michele was around 20 months old when we read a book by Jean Leidloff entitled The Continuum Concept. We decided to try some of the principles found in that book. Both girls are standing on chairs. Michele is pricking sausages with a fork to prevent them from splitting when cooked. Now, prior to reading the book, and later, reading some articles by Michael Pearl, we wouldn't have dreamed of letting Michele do what you see her doing here. In fact she would have been playing, no doubt bored, with toys on the floor. At that time Michele was a handful. She was a happy child, but dreadfully self willed and head strong. We were trying to discipline her, and failing, miserably. Looking back now I believe she was bored. That book was a turning point in our lives as parents. We would not go back to there for a moment. Not a single moment.
We determined then, that any other children we had would be as involved in our everyday lives as much as possible. To do this with your children is nerve wracking. There is a lot of trust in a child's ability to have a sense of danger and self preservation. Yes, Michele has been hurt over the time. The second time she attempted to use a potato peeler she peeled her finger instead of the potato. Blood everywhere. I have lost count of the number of times she disappeared from sight when she fell of the chair. Cathy is younger. Much younger and so we watch her on the chair. She hasn't fallen of yet. She will, and there will be some squawking.
Unfortunately, what we do does have its down side. Like at Christmas when we were in Adelaide. We, at home, all eat together at the same time. There is no segregation of children and adults. This was not so in Adelaide. This was so "the adults could have their meal in peace without small children interrupting every five minutes". The fact that an adult had to get up and attend to the children every five minutes didn't occur to our hosts. Also at home, what we eat the children eat. We use to buy "kids" meals for Michele when we ate out. It never worked. She always turned her nose up and we finished up feeding her off our plate. Not so in Adelaide. "The children wont like what we eat" was the catch cry. Good thing they cant read minds. Michele missed out on trying new foods. Since then we have tried her on some of those foods. She loves them, just as we knew she would.
Are our kids the exception? No. They are just every day average kids. No better, no worse that any other kid on the block. The difference is that we tend to think and look outside of the box. We like the principles in the Continuum Concept. They make sense to us. We like what the Pearls do with their kids. It makes sense to us. And we have proven that it works.
Have we changed our parenting style? You better believe we have. No more seen and not heard. We still discipline. We demand first time obedience and swat very firmly when it doesn't happen. But we also train. For hours at a time, in fact, all the time. If our children are involved in what we are doing then they will be trained. The Israelites were told to teach their children day and night. To write God's law in their heart and to teach their children. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows old he will not depart from it. The Bible also says, correctly so, he who hates his son, or in our case daughters, does not correct him. If you beat him with the rod you will not kill him. Not sure about the beating bit, think I will leave that outside the camp. But, how can a child know right from wrong if they are not taught? How can a child know about consequences if they are not disciplined? If you fail in the area of discipline, in my book of rules, you hate your child; you don't love your child. How can a child learn self disciplined if they are never corrected, sometimes when necessary, harshly?
On the other side of the ledger, and this is where we failed Michele, if you don't train, how can your child know what is expected of them and in turn, what society will expect of them? This is the major difference between the girls. Cathy we trained. Michele we managed and growled at until we woke up. That's the difference. Right there. I started with Cathy when she was 8 weeks old. Now we are reaping the benefits. With both of them. We have done some hard yards with Michele. More so once we assumed the position that she knew absolutely nothing and started training in earnest.
Enough for one night.
Would you believe I was going to write more on the future of humanity. Not so now. Another post for another time.
Just one more little thing before I go. Discipline is important. Training is more important!