That is Michele, 2 weeks ago waiting for Mum. She wanted her photo taken with her pot plant. In that pot are some Sweet Pea's and Alyson. They are flowers. There is another pot that just has pea's in it. It was cold when that photo was taken and we were off to church. That is the "church" bag that Michele has over her shoulder. That bag has quiet toys, some books and colouring pencils along with a drink and snack for both girls. No, we don't do kids church. No we don't expect our children to stand like statures in church and be totally silent. We do expect them to be quiet and provide the means and training that they may entertain themselves whilst in church. It has taken many long hours of training to get this far. Yes, Michele has been escorted outside for more meaningful discussions and then returned. Now she is usually very good and co-operative. Cathy we are working on. However, as we started earlier on Cathy, she is much better. And training sure does make our lives easier.We train for everything. We assume the child knows nothing and has to be taught everything. Just today some one asked how we train our children. So I will give an example. Let me say at the outset, it takes time. Loads of time and there are no fast and easy methods.
"Come to me" is a common one. Everyone wants their child to come when called. Most of the children don't. In fact most will run the other way. For us, it is essential that the child comes when called and acknowledges us when we speak. Stephanie starts as soon as the child can roll over. She puts the child at one end of a passage in our house, she then moves away. She then calls the child and beckons the child to come to her. And soon as the child complies, she makes a huge fuss of the child. This process is repeated many times over. Some times it takes a while for the child to catch on. Over time, Stephanie moves further and further away from the child as the child responds better and better. Over a period of weeks Stephanie will be at one end of the house, she will call the child, and the child will come racing to her, arms outstretched waiting for the huge hugs and kisses that the child knows will happen. We always make a game of it and no discipline happens until we know the child understand what we require and is complying on a regular basis. It is absolutely pointless disciplining a child until that child knows what is required. Also we don't yell at the child when training. We want the child to be trained, not have the living day lights scared out of them.
How young is the child when we start training? Twelve months before their first birthday. Note, training not disciplining. A baby knows nothing so we expect nothing. It is not until the child has been trained that we expect anything. It is so important to get the expectations sorted.
Lets get a bit technical for a minute, shall we. Ever heard of a Training Needs Analyse? No? OK, let me enlighten you. That is when you assess where a persons ability is is relation to a predetermined standard. The training required is the difference between the two.
Now, with a baby, that's easy. It has never been trained and has no ability to meet any standard, no matter how low, that you set. It is on a very steep learning curve. It is, firstly, trying to survive, and secondly, trying to work out what it is that your require of it. Your bit is to train your child to be a socially acceptable human being. Your training of that child starts the day you bring that child into the world. It never stops until that child is an adult and sets out on its own to create another family and repeat the process all over again.
Lastly, this "Happiest Baby on the Block" you have got to see. This guy is amazing. Or is he? No, he is not. You see, lady's have been doing this for the last 6000 years. Oh don't get me wrong, it is good. But we forget and each new batch of mothers has got to re-invent the wheel and learn all about this baby process all over again and usually on their own.
But that is another post for another time.
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